


The Truth Is In The Silence

by MDFawn



Category: As the World Turns, As the World Turns RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-14
Updated: 2015-04-14
Packaged: 2018-03-22 19:45:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3741337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MDFawn/pseuds/MDFawn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Do not copy/duplicate work.</p>
    </blockquote>





	The Truth Is In The Silence

**Author's Note:**

> Do not copy/duplicate work.

 

  
I thought at 12:35 in the morning it shouldn’t be this silent. This was New York City after all. I’m standing in the park watching as my breath comes out as frosty wisps. I should be hearing the sounds of cars. The sounds of people coming and going from the neighborhood bars and restaurants. The sounds of life. The sounds of the heartbeat of the infamous city that never sleeps.

Instead, I’m silently standing and watching as the snow gently, almost gracefully, falls to the ground. A frozen blanket of white that the city seems to have pulled around its shoulders. It’s now 12:36 and I can actually hear something. The sound of each individual snow crystal as it comes to rest among its brethren that surround me. Each crystal one more layer of silence and peace to wrap the city in.

I stand with my eyes closed breathing in the crisp, almost painfully cold air and that silence. Willing it to calm me. To ease the racing heartbeat in my chest. To still the whispered fear swirling in my head. I feel the snow flakes melting slowly where they’ve clung to the lashes of my closed eyes.

The sound of snow crunching under foot is almost an offensive intrusion to my makeshift isle of tranquility. The footsteps coming closer as they shatter the stillness, but they fail to shatter the doubt and fear that is now increasing with each step closer and then they too are still and silent.

I can feel him standing just behind me, no need to turn and see the eyes with their crystal blue intensity trying to look into my soul. The fangirls are always commenting on how it surprises them that his stare is so intense, so intimate when they meet him. That’s nothing compared to trying to work with him for three years and trying to hide something from him. Hide a truth you don’t want to share because you know it will ruin everything that you have. I guess that’s why I’m an actor because he doesn't know. Never guessed. Damn, I should have won one of those Emmys.

I could feel his tense presence behind me. Waiting. Expectant. I’m sure the sudden word vomit that I had rung in the new year with wasn’t exactly what he had expected when he asked me to come join him and some of "our family" from ATWT. Instead of the typical “Happy New Year” he had gotten “I’m in love with you.” The look of shocked confusion had sent me fleeing without a backward glance out into the snow and silence.

“How long?” His whisper floated across the small divide that separated us. The sound sending a gentle tremor up my spine. Two words. How could two words be so complicated. How long had I loved Jake? Good question.

I took a deep breath, blowing it out and watched as it curled into a wisp of frost. ‘When?' Was it since the first smile? Or the first handshake. It could have been the first time that we fell into each other against a fake kitchen counter. The first kiss? I took a deeper breath as I slowly turned and faced those searching eyes.

“Since the beginning.” Was the first and only thing I could say because . . . it was the truth. From the very first time we had met in that audition hall almost four years earlier it had seemed like destiny, fate, some unknown, unnamed cosmic convergence had brought us into each other’s lives.

Now those expressive, piercing eyes only held confusion at my admission. What must he think standing here as the snow floated down around us. Covering us in its silence.

“Why didn’t you say something? Why didn’t you talk to me?” Hurt. That was now what was most present in Jake’s eyes as those eyes bore into me. Searching, probing, seeking the truth that he now knew was hiding inside me.

‘Because you’re straight, Jake and I wish you weren’t. Because all I can think of is how well I know we’d fit together. Yeah, that way.’ My mind screamed.

“Because we were never an option.” My mouth betrayed me as my sanitized version of the truth spilled out. Damn word vomits are going to be the death of me.

The “idiot” that escaped his lips as he stepped quickly into my space stunned me, froze me in place, unable to move. The soft press of his lips on mine . . . I wasn’t expecting that. The heat that now seemed to be rising between us was certainly more than I had ever hoped for. Just as the sigh of lose and disappointment that slipped out as he pulled away was just another truth coming out tonight.

“Us, together, it’s the only option.” Were words I never dreamed of hearing Jake say, but there they were hanging in the cold, crystalline air.

“Really?” I asked, amazement robing me of my usual witty banter.

“Really.” He smirked as those eyes seemed to hold an almost wicked gleam. “And they say I’m the adorkable one.”

“Shut up and . . .” I leaned in hesitantly. “Kiss me again.”

 


End file.
